finding the sweet spot

How exhausted I feel.

Exhausted and often deliriously happy. I cannot make up my mind which is the greater of the two. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today and stopped for a moment to wonder at who I am now. With a round pregnant belly and rounding cheeks, surrounded by a familiar home of my own, with things that have accumulated throughout the course of my life. I stood at my dresser and thought back to age 17, when I thought I had figured so much out. I thought 1- I knew exactly who I was, 2- I knew exactly who God wanted me to be, 3- All of my life's future happiness could hang on the pinky finger of a boy, and 4- It was impossible to actually be 100% complete within myself.

There I stood, belly and all, and up walks this man, this great man, who proceeds to smack my rear on his way to the bathroom. I watched him go and I looked around our bedroom. The picture on the shelf from his "long hair" days, the handmade thank you cards we received as a wedding gift, my socks on the loveseat, his phone on the night stand.

"When you come home...does it feel like home?" I asked from the bedroom.
Poking his head out of the bathroom, and cocking his head to the side, he answered "Yes...we have made a very cozy home." He went back to the bathroom.

It is moments like that when I just awe at the way my life's little pieces have placed themselves in order. A home of my own, a job doing what I love, a baby girl who currently resides within my body and within my heart, a family that, no matter which way you look at it, makes me feel blissfully happy, a husband who is preciously in love with me, a group of 9th grade girls that are changing my life....i could go on and on and on.

I arrived here somehow. And tracing the steps backwards, I realize that it was not I that did the walking, but instead, it was I who did the following. I cannot find the time when I finally stopped forcing my own hand, and wishing my own small wishes. It happened. And now I am here.

At the sweet spot.

How do you find the sweet spot?

I think it must start at the place when you decide to really seek it, instead of just hoping to find it. Because, really, the sweet spot can be anywhere you place it.

Sweet spot=contentment=wholeness=faith=bliss