Friday's update

Well, last night was exciting.

First, at 6PM, I got to change my first diaper with Maddy Paddy. Her tiny hiney was about 2 inches wide...not joking. my hands shook as I took her tiny legs in my hand and lifted that rearend up. she was fine but i kept looking at her to see that i wasnt crushing something. it was a sweet moment. Daddy put the new diaper on and folded it so gently below her little belly.

Second, at around 8:45 PM, i had an allergic reaction to some new Blood Pressure meds...i turned as red as a lobster and started to shake. my bp is still too high...so the meds are necessary...and they have now changed me to a different medication.

We were planning to change another diaper at 10PM and called ahead to see if that was still when they wanted us to come. Well, the nurse told us reluctantly that they had already had to change her diaper. Chris was about to be disappointed when she added, "Your little one took her ventilator tube out. She is no longer on a vent, but on the CPAP (which is SO great!). Come see her." Chris bounded out of his chair. "Thats my monkey!" he yelled! So, because i was still having my reaction, he plopped me into a wheelchair and took me to see her. she looked like a different baby! i could see her face so much better. She had on a pink cap with little swirls coming off the top. she was on her belly and had worked herself into the cutest position. Left arm up over her head, right arm straight out to the side, and she was passed out. she was breathing with very little assistance from the CPAP...it just applies pressure to keep her lungs pulling in enough oxygen.

the new nurse said she came in that night, thinking it was going to be a quiet evening...poured herself a cup of coffee and heard crying. she looked up and it was Maddy! Crying! Chris looked at her and said "I know she made your job a little difficult...and i am sorry...but i am so proud of her!" the nurse laughed and said "no way! its a great thing. she wanted the tube out and she took it out."

You would have thought that Maddy had just won the nobel peace prize. Chris and I floated around the rest of the night. I felt awful and shook until my back spasmed...but i couldn't take the smile off of my face. All night long i thought of her. and for the first time...i slept!

This morning was even better. I had some anxiety that she might deteriorate over night. well, i pumped and we took her food- i was walking (felt like running) and checked out my slowly flattening belly in the window...for the first time i really felt like i could jump or scream or cry or all of it. it is just almost too much joy to stand.

So, we get to the NICU this morning and she is on her back. We are washing our hands and she started crying because the tiny pacifier had fallen out of her mouth. I just stopped and turned around. I stared at her...hearing her make a noise for the first time since the minute she was delivered. Her jaw shook and her toes spread and we just beamed. The nurse put the paci back in her mouth and I was sad to not hear that noise anymore. She kicked both feet up in the air, crossed her legs, put her hand up by her face (like in every ultrasound) and fell asleep. Chris and I spent about 30 minutes touching her and wrapping our hands around her tiny body. We watched her chest expand and knew she was getting stronger each moment. We told her it was Good Friday and that she was an Easter miracle.

She loves to have her feet touched....like hers mama! of course, i cannot stand to not touch those tiny little toes. And now that i have been writing this, I am ready to go see her again. so we will have another update soon.

love to you all from us three!