Hope that All will be made Clear!

By now you know the gist of our most recent blessing, River's, entrance into our lives.

You know he arrived on April 5th, at 38.5 weeks gestational age and that he was admitted directly to the NICU for "premature" lungs. You know he was 7 pounds, 6 ounces. You know we were all shocked.

Here is what you may not know.

At 33 weeks, we began to see signs that I was possibly heading towards another joyful experience with PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension).

You should know that back when we found out we were expecting River, I hand-picked my doctor, Dr. Jeff Reinhardt with Longstreet Clinic, because of his experience and understanding of PIH and Pre-eclampsia. As our relationship with him grew, we learned to trust him fully, not with the typical skepticism with which you may approach a doctor. I put all my hopes for this pregnancy and birth in his hands and the hands of another amazing man and midwife- Jack McGuire. These two men collaborated on my case and took such good care of me that I find now that I miss them quite a lot. 

In the weeks that followed that initial PIH scare, I was on bed rest and at the doc twice a week. I got to know River's heartbeat so well in those weeks. I heard them each time we did a non-stress test and each time we did an ultrasound. I knew with visual confirmation where each of his little body parts were, that his knees were the little bumps that kept poking out under my ribs, and that his sweet hands were always by his head. The evidence was always clear- River was in astounding shape...he was healthy and thriving. All great news! The bed rest was effective, as weeks passed we noticed my vitals were remaining stable and the signs weren't worsening.

My birth plan had been the same this time as it was the last- to have a natural labor and birth- to, in a selfish admission, redeem my last very frightening birth experience. I knew my chances were great of having another pre term baby, and in my desire to still have a natural VBAC, I did everything Dr. R and Jack told me I could to increase my chances. I worked on his positioning and took supplements to get my body ready. I did visualization, I read books, I prayed....I believed it would happen the way I wanted this time.

If I have learned anything in the past month, it is that I am a simple minded fool when it comes to "what will happen." I have no ability to gauge the future and base my decisions upon what is coming my way. I have no intuition or foresight. I am merely able to live my life day to day and do the best I can to be at my best.

When 37 weeks came and went, we rejoiced at my little victory of not having had a baby yet! We made it to term with this one and I could have thrown a party!!

To be continued....