this thing called motherhood

Update- Maddy came home on Monday April 20. Life became a little more normal for us.

She is such a sweet baby. Loves to be sung to: Be Thou My Vision, Keep You Safe, Patsy Cline, and Miley Cyrus to name a few. She loves bathtime. She is the ultimate spider monkey if she isn't swaddled well. Her hands will flail and flutter, often smacking me in the face in the middle of the night. She sleeps with her mouth open, sweet milk breath blowing in my face. Her eyes are focusing so much better now than in days past.

As for me....I am still morphing. It is surreal to call myself mommy. It is even more surreal to look at that precious precious face and feel completely and totally in love. Waking up in the middle of the night and stumbling around isn't the most fun in the world, okay? but looking into those big eyes and kissing that tiny mouth...holy cow....it has rocked my world.

We take naps...either chest to chest or side by side. she is perfectly content in almost any situation. Tiny as can be still...but no less strong and brave. She grows each day like a weed in a garden and we are trying so hard to capture each moment and store it safely away.

Chris is an amazing father. Tending to her with care and confidence. he even helps during the night, often swaddling her when my eyes are too foggy to see straight. He rubs my back and jokes with me when i get a little frazzled. He and maddy are already like two familiar dancers, finessing a routine, and making new steps. He and I are learning to communicate in a whole new way. I feel like our marriage has been tested within the past month in more ways than i ever expected and you know what? We passed. we passed big time. I learn that I love him more everyday and looking at Maddy, I see the perfect example of love and of miracles.

I count myself blessed to have come through this. I count us blessed as a family to be enduring a few new hardships that we never anticipated. We wake everyday believing that God has brought us here for a reason and that He has a plan that will blow our minds....we only have to believe on Him.

I am trying to sort through all of my thoughts. I believe there is a story in all of this that I am meant to write. I am praying that it will line itself up for me and make itself available to me. It is right there, sort of dangling in my periphery....I will grab it...once i have a free hand!

I hope to find time to blog more now that we are settling into a routine. I hope you continue to follow our story. She is amazing...she is inspiring...and i cannot wait to see what happens each new day.

If there was ever a woman profoundly blessed, I am she.