Think on THIS!

I am sitting here in what is basically - the dark. My living room is all shadows and TV reflection as Tammy and Bobby watch Everybody Loves Raymond. I am so tired! Like beat my head against a wall to stop being awake- TIRED! But...sitting proudly aboard that tiredness is contentment- carrying a brightly colored banner- showing off, in fact. It was a long way up, but contentment has officially risen to number one on my emotional countdown.

My life is SO far from perfect...even so far from the life I want to be living...and yet, I am content. And each day, I work for that contentment. I choose to look at the world, not as hinging on every single thing, but on a grander scale- one in which I am a mere player and not the starring role.

I could get so bogged down in the money that still isn't there, even a year later. I could bury myself beneath my worries and fears of being a bad mom, a poor wife, and a failure to the kingdom. I could even swim in the tears I have shed over this past year.

Still, in Philippians 4, Paul begs, ^"6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

And, I think, even with all the troubles that lay heavy on my heart, isn't there also inconceivable joy? Do I not also have friends and family who love and stand by my little family with ceaseless prayer and petition on our behalf? Can I not pray and petition, also? Rather than moping and self-pity, can I find the LOVELY in my life every day and rejoice in that? Can I take my tiny picture and put it against the big one and accept that no matter the size of my troubles, someone else is currently suffering more?

Well, UH YEAH! I can do all of that. It is ridiculous to think otherwise. And everyday, as I purposefully choose peace and contentment, I will have more time to be a fun mom, a devoted wife, and a more observant servant in this world. WIN...and WIN!

I hope that you feel peace- not in the absence of trouble, but within the mire. I hope that we all step back from observing our own lives as less than perfect, and view that imperfection as God's ability to save us regardless!

Now, I will close with a reminder that when something breaks in our lives, a dam lets loose and its waters breach your heart, that is when God can reveal His love and grace in ways not felt before. A perfect example- a year into this awful, make me shake in my boots, financial situation- we are still surviving. We don't have much, we can't afford to give much, but we are still here, against all odds. And this little girl will never remember the days when her mommy and daddy struggled so. She will only remember the laughter. And of course, the love.